Why You Should Stop Complaining at Work/

Isn’t it time that we all stopped complaining so much? We complain about the weather, complain about our lot in life, and perhaps more than anything else– we complain about our jobs. Complaining goes against everything that we have learned about the power of positive thinking, and dwelling on the negativity certainly isn’t going to lift anyone’s spirits. Which begs the question; if all of that time and energy that we spend complaining isn’t going to contribute a lick towards making a situation better, then why do we do it?

The Good Side

A recent article from the New York Times suggests that complaining serves a distinct social purpose. They note that complaining at work can actually be a great icebreaker and an excellent way to build rapport. While I am hesitant to admit it, I have certainly found this to be true. In my experience, whenever things aren’t going well at work (for whatever reason), if my whole team gets together and openly vents our frustrations, everyone seems to feel a bit better. Of course, these discussions (if you can call them that) typically happen behind closed doors or out of the office somewhere.

In the same article, Guy Wench states that “Psychologically, it’s really unhealthy to squelch complaints.” He goes on to say that unloading our frustrations on our peers is better than driving ourselves crazy by keeping them bottled up inside. To counter this, I would turn the attention to the person who has to listen all of the complaining.  Perhaps they aren’t as jaded as we are, and have a different outlook on things. I would argue that we could actually be doing them harm by trying to convince them that they should be unhappy?

The Blame Game

To me, the most dangerous part of too much complaining is that it tends to focus all of the blame outwards. If you think that the actions (or inactions) of those around you are the cause of your problems, then you are highly unlikely to be willing to work to alleviate them. Complaining about how someone else is doing their job (behind their back, no less) may make you feel better in the short term, but it is certainly not going to make them work any harder or differently.

To me, this is what separates the rockstars of your office from the average employees. The rockstars are going to look at a problematic situation and spend their time and energy trying to make it better. Everyone else will likely look at the same situation and well.. you guessed it..  complain about it.

To stretch the point further, I think this same principle is also a big part of what makes for successful entrepreneurs as well.  Do you think that a business is going to go very far if the owner spends their energy blaming everyone else for their problems and struggles? Of course not! If something isn’t working, the responsible thing to do is to spend their energy finding alternative solutions.

Hating Your Job

This same mentality extends to dissatisfaction with one’s own job as well. If your day-to-day tasks are turning you into a miserable person, then my recommendation would be to change things up as soon as possible! Life is too short to spend half your time being totally unhappy, and then likely spend the other half of your time complaining about it!

Instead of complaining about the state of your current job, why not try to improve it? Is there a new project that you think you’d be the perfect person to lead? Is there something that your team should be doing that would generate better results or help your company get more in line with industry standards? Don’t be afraid to talk to your boss about these ideas! Many times, it may be possible to change your job without actually changing your job! Instead, make an attempt to change your responsibilities to something that you will find more fulfilling. Those that show initiative are almost always rewarded.

Mindlessly sitting back and hating your job should not be an option for anyone. If your attempts to improve your lot are shot down, and there is no hope to salvage what you have, then perhaps you should consider moving on.  I wouldn’t recommend for my worst enemy (if I had one) to spend their life working a job that they hate.

How To Stop Complaining

If you decide that you want to stop complaining at work, my recommendation would be to try and to stop complaining altogether. Instead of focusing on the things that aren’t working, try to shift your attention to the many blessings that you do have. Practicing gratitude exercises can be very helpful in this regard. In my family, we have evening meetings twice a week where everyone in our family has to spend a few minutes talking about what they are thankful for. I have found this practice to be very effective.

If you feel yourself starting to get upset about something, take a deep breath. Ask yourself if those around you really need to hear you whine and complain about the situation. Perhaps you could try to put yourself in their shoes, if it helps. Would you rather listen to someone spouting endless streams of negativity, or would you rather hear them focusing on the positive?

Making the change to stop complaining is not going to be easy for you. You have probably been complaining for a very long time, and when you peel back the layers- you may find that a frighteningly large percentage of your conversations comprise of little more than complaining. However, if you do decide to shift your thinking and stop complaining, you will reap the benefits of a better mindset.  Think of how much more you can get done when you stop focusing on the problems an start focusing on the solutions!

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Photo courtesy of Celestine Chua (Flickr)