There has been some discussion at the dinner table lately about whether we would consider moving the family to another city. My wife and I were married almost ten years ago and we have three kids. We have lived in the same suburb of the same Midwestern city for the extent of our marriage. Moving the five of us to another city would certainly represent a major change, even if we used one of the best moving companies, but the topic keeps coming up and it warrants further investigation to see if this idea deserves further consideration.
For myself, moving from city to city was just a part of my childhood. It seemed like my dad was always looking for something new and exciting on the job market, and I was able to experience life in four different states as a result. My family finally settled down when I was in 5th grade, and I have lived in this city ever since. I did move two hours away to go to college, but have planted some roots here in this town that are difficult to uproot. But my extended family is scattered all over the country, and both of my brothers have lived in other cities for extended periods of time. It is a bit trickier for me, because we have kids, but I do think that having this background contributes to my openness about the possibility of moving away.
My wife followed a much different path, and has lived here her entire life. Her parents still live in the same house they were in when my wife was in high school, and nearly all of her grandparents, aunts, and uncles are still in the area. So a move away from familiarity would be an even bigger change for her, but surprisingly– she brings up moving somewhere warmer about fifty times each winter, on especially frigid days.
While I am open to the possibility of moving, there are many things that do entice me to stay. Let’s look at the pros and cons.
Arguments for Staying Put
- Family : Both sets of grandparents live here in the area. It is truly wonderful that our children get to see their grandparents regularly and that they have relationships with them. I was never close with my own grandparents, and I love the fact that my kids do have this as a part of their lives. If we left, we would certainly visit every chance we would get, and internet video applications like Skype make staying in touch remotely easier than ever.
- Our House : We have a nice (mostly) affordable home in a great neighborhood. There is a neighborhood pool with a swim team just two minutes down the road, and I never feel unsafe walking around my neighborhood, even at night. My home isn’t perfect and has a number of things that I would change if I could, but it may be difficult to find a similar value in another city. Not to mention the fact that we would need to SELL the house would certainly be a challenge in this economy. Michelle and I estimate that we would need to sink a minimum of $10,000 into the place just to get it in listable condition.
- Kids Activities : My kids go to a good public school, where they are entrenched and have friends. My kids play baseball and soccer, one of them is in Cub Scouts, and they are both on the swim team. We could certainly find these things elsewhere, but they would have to make new friends.
- Friends : This goes for mom and dad as well; we have some good friends here in town, and moving somewhere new would require to meet some new people. Since we have three kids, we probably wont be especially active in the social scene wherever we go, so meeting other families will have to happen through work, sports teams, or church most likely.
Arguments for Leaving Town
- A Better Fit : There are certainly good things about where we live, but both my wife and I sometimes wonder if we really “fit in” here in the Midwest. We don’t like to hunt. We are very health conscious and prefer to eat organic fruits and vegetables. We don’t judge others and are accepting of all people and lifestyles. It is certainly possible to find like-minded people anywhere, and we have, but I can’t help but wonder if I would find it easier to relate to folks in a different area of the country. Plus, the weather here sucks.
- Dream Job : While I have a good job right now, as far as salary and stability are concerned, there is much about it that isn’t ideal. I have looked at the job market to see what else is out there, and it seems like the best opportunities to find a role that best fits my skills and experience, are available out of town. Should I immediately dismiss an opportunity that truly sounds perfect for me, just because it is in a different city? I don’t think so. In fact, the only way that I *would* consider moving at this point is if there was a dreamy job sitting there waiting for me.
- Sense of Adventure : A life that just spins and spins, year after year, can get dull after a while. Changing things up just for the sake of changing things up, could help us learn more about ourselves and bring us even closer together as a family. What if one my children had a calling to be a deep sea fisherman or a surfer? We would never know, because we are a thousand miles from the sea. What if the thing that brings me the most excitement in the world is downhill snow skiing? I wouldn’t know because there are no mountains in sight. We can investigate those things through travel, of course, but living in a different place will give you new adventures and new perspective on life. Wouldn’t it be good for us to experience life from a different point of view for a while?
- Timing : If we were ever going to do it, now would be a pretty good time to go ahead and pull the trigger on a move. My wife is staying home with the baby, so only one of us would need to find a new job. My oldest son is about to start Middle School, so he is changing schools anyway. My younger son is fairly well adjusted, and wouldn’t have trouble making friends anywhere. Also, we are getting our financial house in order, and its possible that a move could actually *HELP* us in this regard.
- Safety Net : If we move to a different city, and we just don’t like it. We always have the option of moving back. It would be short-sighted to not give it at least 2-3 years in a new location, but that door is always open. We would most likely just rent a house when we first moved, to make sure that the area was a good fit. If we like what we find, then this would allow for us to take our time deciding what part of town to move into, and to shop for the perfect home to settle into.
Financial Considerations
- Cost of Living : Overall, the place we live currently has a fairly low cost of living. Moving out to the West Coast sounds very appealing, until we realize that I would have to earn more than double my salary to afford a house that is half as nice as what we have now. However, other cities compare fairly well to where we are now. Many cities also have a much better tax situation, which would result in more cash to finish off our debt elimination.
- Housing : As mentioned above, we would need to sell our current house and would need to fix up a few spots before list it. However, we have about 25% equity in the current appraised value, which puts us in a much better situation than many people.
- Salary Bump : When I mention the idea of a dream job, it certainly includes a nice bump in salary. For me to consider moving my family to another town– the new position would have to pay $15,000 – $20,000 more than I am currently making. This number is not as unreasonable as it may sound, as some of the positions that I have seen are advertising salaries approaching that number.
- The Cost of Moving: I have heard that many companies are willing to pay as much as $10,000 of relocation costs, if they find the right candidate. This would hopefully be enough to pay not only for the move, but for the most needed home repairs as well. Getting a business to chip in on these costs would also be a prerequisite before considering a move.
There is no nice and neat conclusion to this post, but it feels good to lay it all out in black and white. The way I see it, there is no harm in looking to see what’s out there, even if you aren’t sure if you want to be serious about it. If something falls into my lap that looks absolutely perfect, and is in a location that sounds appealing, I should at least take the time to take a closer look. In the most likely scenario, we will end up staying right where we are. But it is good to remain open to any and all possibilities to improve our life.